


Deceit

by Masami_Aomame



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 17:28:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19045048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masami_Aomame/pseuds/Masami_Aomame
Summary: How much truth was there to it? Tell me, did you ever even love me?  (Modern AU)





	1. Chapter 1

The familiar sound of the alarm pulls Sasuke back into consciousness. He sits up on the bed without wasting a moment. The snooze button isn't for him. Always getting up as soon as the alarm goes off and getting started with his daily routine. Punctuality is encoded in his DNA.

Of course there are days when he allows himself to take it a little easy. For example Sunday mornings. Or basically any day when he doesn't have work.

Technically, he doesn't have work today. To be more specific, he actually did but he took it off. Because today he has an appointment. An important once-in-a-lifetime type of appointment. One that involves a wedding hall and a bride.

_A beautiful pink haired bride._

There's no shame in admitting it to himself.

Sasuke falls back onto the bed. Staring at the blue ceiling.

_Bride, huh?_

However, it's not the idea of a bride that amuses him. The moment he agreed to get married, he knew there'd be a bride involved. It's common sense. What baffles him is the idea of being so in love with so called bride. _That_ wasn't within his calculations.

If he recalls correctly, which he does, when it all started he wasn't excited. He wasn't irritated. He just saw it as a task. Something he needed _to_ do.

* * *

He was to be married. For that, he needed a girl. His parents had found him one and he had to see if she was compatible with him. It was simple maths.

She had asked if they could meet at a café of her preference and it was fine by him. According to his logic, it was actually _better_ than a dinner date. Going to a fancy restaurant required getting properly dressed up. And of course there was this whole ordeal of eating dinner together. He was very familiar with the pains of having to put up with an entire dinner with people he couldn't stand; thanks to his job.

So, a café was definitely a better idea. Just order a cup of coffee and exchange a few words to see if she doesn't irritate the hell out of him. If the signal was green, then he could take the next step and ask her out on a dinner date next.

.

.

.

He had dressed up casually, taking his mother's advice and paying extra attention to his choice of shoes although he himself had no idea why on earth it was so important. Whatever, when he walked into the café, he was completely casual about the whole thing. But when he came out, circumstances were slightly different.

He was getting a little impatient, waiting by himself. But he was almost half an hour early. So, he couldn't really blame her. He looked around. The only thing he found interesting was the table football at the corner. He continued his inspection.

_These tables are sturdy enough. If the roof fell down, they'd make a good shelter._

_Hn_.

_What about a fire?_

He looked around to see where the fire extinguisher was.

The bell chimed gently and as he turned his face towards the glass door, he saw her standing there, looking around.

He hadn't seen her before. But he had heard from his mother that she had naturally pink hair and was called Sakura. So, he immediately knew it was her.

She was wearing a light green loose sweater top and a pair of white capris. She kept looking around for a few seconds before finally spotting him. He nodded slightly in affirmation and she started walking towards him. The heels of her pink sandals clicking against the wooden floor.

She gave him a smile. A bold and beautiful one and pulled the chair to sit down opposite him. And just like that, out of nowhere, in the back of his mind Sasuke heard a voice.

_It's going to work._

"I'm not late, you're way too early," she said with a cheerful smile.

Sasuke couldn't come up with a reply except "Hn."

"Hn?" she raised an eyebrow but then offered him another smile. "I'm Sakura by the way. Although I assume you might already have figured that."

"Ah," Sasuke realised he was sitting completely straight, tucking his tummy in and puffing his chest. So, he breathed out and relaxed his muscles a little bit before speaking again, "I'm Sasuke Uchiha."

"I know who you are," she giggled. "By the way, do you want to order? I really love the chocolate pudding here. Haven't had it in a while. What about you?"

.

.

.

"So, Sasuke… Mr. Uchiha… Okay, first tell me how I address you."

"Sasuke is fine," he informed curtly.

"So, Sasuke, tell me a little about yourself."

Sasuke replied after staring at her for a while, "Like?"

He wasn't familiar with this procedure. He had absolutely no idea how these 'date' things went.

"Like..." Sakura thought for a while; "Tell me what your favourite colour is."

That was a dilemma. He had never tried to give it much thought. He never felt the need. But being asked about it, he tried to think, to analyse.

"Black."

"Black?" Sakura raised an eyebrow, "Are you a narcissist?"

"What does black have to do with being a narcissist?"

"Apparently a lot. I heard narcissists have a liking for black."

"Heard?" Sasuke frowned, "From?"

"Actually it was from a drama I watched. They also said that narcissists have a crazy obsession about appearances. Like if you enter the room of a narcissist, it'd be so clean and tidy at first glance. But then, if you open the wardrobe or the drawers, you'll see how untidy things actually are. They basically try to hide the mess from everyone's eyes."

Sasuke listened to her intently. Before he could make a comment, their orders arrived.

"Aren't you gonna add sugar to that?" Sakura asked as if in a shock as he went ahead to take a sip of his coffee.

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't like sugar," why she was overreacting like that was beyond him.

"So, you drink your coffee just like that? Black and no sugar?"

"Ah."

"That must taste really bitter."

"I like the flavour."

"Seriously, I'll never understand how that works. I'm totally obsessed with sweets," she stopped speaking to take a huge spoonful of her pudding.

"Mmmm… It's so good!"

Sasuke frowned at her, a little startled by the noises she was making. Sakura looked at him, completely oblivious to her own indecency, "So, you didn't tell me. Are you like that? Faking appearance type?"

"My room does look tidy at first glance," he shrugged, "And when you look inside my wardrobe or drawers, it still looks tidy. I'm a very organised person. I like my things properly arranged."

"So, you're not a narcissist then."

"By your logic, I might not be."

Sakura stared at him for a while, "Whatever, we're getting off-track here. The main question was your favourite colour and the answer, as you've said, is black. Mine is red."

_So, her favourite colour is red._

He eyes automatically travelled to her red hairband.

"What about your favourite food?"

"Favourite food?" Sasuke thought for a while, "Anything with rice and tomato."

"Rice and tomato?" Sakura drew her brows together.

"Hn."

"Okay. Mine is anything sweet. I often get scolded by the dentist because of how much sweets I eat."

Sasuke took a sip of his coffee to feel less… _clueless_ would be the correct choice of word.

"So, colour and food done… Next should be…" she looked deep in thoughts and Sasuke took the time to properly study her facial features. She had a small face, two bright green eyes, a sharp nose and luscious pink lips. Her silky pink hair barely reached below her chin and was adorned with the red hair-band. Altogether, she was a really pretty girl.

_Yep, definitely pretty._

Sasuke knew better than to be fooled by looks, but being good-looking definitely didn't count as a negative trait.

_Let's see where this goes._

Suddenly his extreme nonchalance regarding this meeting was replaced with a feeling of curiosity.

"What's your hobby?" Sakura finally asked.

"Hobby?"

"Yes, hobby. Like what do you do in your free time?"

"I don't have free time."

"Seriously?" she was clearly scowling.

"I'm busy with my work."

"Then what are you getting married for? To permanently solve the problem of having to find someone to sleep with everyday? Or do you need a free housekeeper? Or are you looking for a uterus to carry your children and then raise them while you're _busy with your work_?"

Sasuke was completely baffled by her words. It was their first meeting and _this_ clearly wasn't the type of conversation he had anticipated. He had expected her to be… nicer and a little more on the defensive side.

He had no clue regarding how to respond to her accusations.

"Do you think you can look down upon me just because you have a job?" there was a certain pain in her eyes. And also what Sasuke recognised as pure rage. Contempt.

"That's not what I meant," Sasuke leaned back on his polished-wood chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "I think I phrased it incorrectly. I don't have free time because I don't want it. I love my work. And there's nothing else I'd rather do."

Sasuke saw her brows furrowing a little. So he continued, "And regarding _why_ I'm getting married, the simple answer is because my parents want me to. Doesn't the same go for you as well? I don't see why you'd be so excited to marry a stranger."

Sakura raised her brows a little before exhaling loudly.

"Well…"

"My parents, especially my mother is worried that if left on my own, I'll spend the rest of my life indulged in my work. And her worries aren't completely baseless. In general, I lack the energy to go out and interact with people unless it's work-related. I'm not very likely to find a partner for myself. Because like I said, my work is my first priority."

"So, It's kind of like you're in love with your work, isn't it?" she asked is a serious tone.

He contemplated the idea for a while.

"I guess you could say that."

"I see. That's how it is," Sakura nodded like she just understood how to solve a very complicated mathematical problem.

"However," Sasuke sat straight once again, hands on the table, "If I _do_ end up getting married, I'll balance properly between my private life and professional life. I won't ignore my family and spend the entire time at work like I do now. I know how to do that. I've seen my father."

"I see," Sakura looked convinced. "I'm sorry I attacked you like that. It's… just that I'm tired of people looking down on me," she gave a smile but it was different from her previous cheerful ones. There was a certain sadness in it. Especially obvious in her green eyes.

"Whatever," suddenly it was back. The bright cheerfulness in her eyes. And Sasuke decided on a whim that it suited her far better than the sadness. "We've moved too far from our topic. So, you don't have a hobby because let's say your work in itself is your hobby. Mine is books."

"Books?"

"Yep. I absolutely love reading books."

Sasuke nodded slightly.

"And I love watching films too."

"What's your favourite film?" Sasuke surprised himself by how fast he came up with it.

"That's difficult, you know. I mean there are so many good films and they're all so different. I can't really compare them."

"Hn," Sasuke nodded as he took a sip of his coffee.

"But if I had to pick one-"

He looked at her face, she was deeply immersed in her thoughts, thin rosy brows furrowed and glossy pink lips slightly puckered. He wondered what her answer would be. He himself had watched quite a few films. Maybe she'd name one of them?

"No. I'm sorry, I can't." 

"Huh?"

"I can't pick one," Sakura shook her head and then took a sip of water from her glass.

.

.

.

Sasuke frowned as Sakura came out with a light green bicycle from the shade.

"What the-"

"It's my cycle," she informed him with a wide smile on her face.

"You came here on a bicycle?"

"Uh-huh," she nodded, "I came from work. I ride this to work."

"Work?" he frowned.

"Yeah. Contrary to what you might've been told, I'm not _completely_ unemployed. I work part-time at the library," Sakura gave a proud smile.

"Oh," that revelation was unexpected. And interesting in his opinion.

* * *

From then onwards, it was rather easy. In fact, the more time passed, the easier it got. Although, things didn't go as he had initially planned them to. For example, the fancy dinner date never really took place. But he didn't have any complaint.

Growing up, he never felt attracted to the opposite gender in that sense. Therefore, he was under the impression that falling in love was practically impossible for him. He had laughed at his elder brother who once told him about the 'right person' and how everything changes in an instant.

But there he was, having left work on time in a state of impatience and standing in front of the mirror, checking his hair and trying to figure out exactly how attractive he looked. That was when he knew.

* * *

"Yeah. It's pretty simple. Scan the bar-code on the membership card, scan the bar-code in the book, issue the book for two weeks."

Sasuke was looking at her face as she spoke cheerfully.

"I bet it sounds too boring to you. Your job is so complicated," she smiled a little and then shouted, "Oh shit! It's melting!"

"But it'd seem boring to you," he shrugged as Sakura struggled to manage her melting ice lolly.

"Eh?"

"My job. It'll be boring for you. Because you're not interested in it.  _You_  enjoy your work, that's all that matters. How I or anyone else feels about it is irrelevant."

He saw the look of surprise on her face. Green eyes wide, brows going up, pink lips parted; as if at a loss for words. Then, she smiled. Very gently and he'd bet he saw her eyes filling up with tears that she somehow managed to keep from spilling out.

* * *

Sakura suddenly brought her face near his chest and sniffed.

"WHAT… are you doing?" Sasuke almost jumped. He could feel a heat rising to his cheeks and ears.

"Your perfume," Sakura spoke as she sniffed him once again, very attentively, "It smells really nice."

Sasuke was about to bask in the glory of the compliment when she added, "Did you put it on especially to impress me?"

_What?_

Her face was still very close to his chest, green eyes sparkling, an eyebrow raised and a mischievous smile playing on those glossy pink lips.

There were several things going on in his head.

First and foremost,  _of course_  that was the purpose of the perfume. But there was NO WAY he was going to admit it to her.

Then, those full lips. He suddenly had the urge to know what they'd feel like under his own. She had put on some lip-gloss or something, making them look even more luscious.

Thirdly, his heart was beating too fast and too loud. And her face being so close to that particular organ made him nervous that she'd hear those loud thuds against his ribs.

"You really did put it on to impress me," Sakura said decisively and she finally stepped away from him. A little to his relief but mostly to his disappointment.

_Okay, Sasuke, say something._

"You know, I read there's a scientific explanation to it," she continued as she resumed walking. "Like I'm liking the scent of your perfume, so I'm gonna try to inhale it more and more. Which in turn will make me inhale the pheromones your body is releasing. They will affect my female hormones and I'll feel sexually attracted to you."

Choking on water was a known concept but that was the decisive moment of his life when Sasuke learnt that choking on thin air was also physiologically possible.

But Sakura didn't notice. She just went on, "Although these things would be more effective when I'm ovulating. There are research reports saying ovulating women release the most effective pheromones. So, you'll smell my pheromones and they'll affect your male hormones and make you want to have sex with me. The ultimate purpose being reproduction. Sometimes, it surprises me, you know, how everything has been planned perfectly by Nature. I personally think babies being cute is also Nature's way of ensuring their safety. Otherwise how is it that babies of any animal look cute? Humans? Cats? Dogs? Chickens? Rabbits? Tigers? Goats? Sasuke, are you alright?" she had finally turned around and discovered a Sasuke whose face closely resembled the colour of a boiling lobster.

"Are you alright?" she took a step towards him with a concerned look on her face. "Do you have a fever?" she reached out her hand to feel the temperature but before she could touch his skin, Sasuke managed to take a step backwards. He didn't think he could survive her touch at the moment.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," he declared confidently. Well, he tried his best to make it sound confident but his voice wasn't being very co-operative.

"What are you-" the frown on her face disappeared and Sasuke knew it was bad news. "Don't tell me you're embarrassed because I talked about us having sex?"

_Thank you for pointing it out once again; this time more blatantly._

"Seriously?" she laughed hard, throwing her head back, "I can't believe you. Are you one of those kids who get embarrassed during the reproduction chapter in biology?

Sasuke stood there, feeling utterly humiliated.

"But I remember I said things about me carrying your babies on the day we first met. You weren't flustered then. So, why now after all this time?"

_Because back then I wasn't particularly in love with you. Therefore when you said those things, my mind didn't automatically jump to produce images of them._

_Very graphic ones._

"Tch. As if."

"What as if?"

"Why'd I be embarrassed? I think I might really have a fever," he put his hand over his mouth and fake coughed.

Sakura scrutinised him, an eyebrow raised and then turned around to walk ahead of him, "Let's go get some ice-cream."

"What?"

"Your fake fever won't get worse if you had an ice-cream."

"What? It's not fake. I really have a-" cough cough.

"You're terrible at lying."

"I'm not."

"So, you  _are_  lying?" she spun around with a mischievous smile on her face.

_What the-_

"Let's hurry. If we don't, we'll miss the fireworks," she was already running ahead of him.

"Annoying," he muttered and then followed after her.

* * *

It had taken him a lot of courage.

_What if she thinks I'm planning something and that's why I'm inviting her over?_

_But you really are planning something, that's why you're inviting her over._

_But it's nothing inappropriate. So isn't it okay? And I think it's very important._

_Of course it is._

.

.

.

"I didn't know you could cook. And so well," Sakura gave him a bright smile and took a sip of her wine.

"Now that you do, you can finally believe I wasn't planning to marry you so that you can cook my food," he tried to act smug.

But something in Sakura's face changed. There was a sudden shock, evident in her eyes. And… there was a certain something. He couldn't exactly read it yet, but it was there.

"I know," she finally said and looked down at her plate, "I… I didn't…"

"What are you getting so worked up for? I was just teasing. Eat your food," he said and took another spoonful of the fried rice.

Sakura kept quiet after that, just eating in silence. The only sound in the room was of spoons clinking against the plates. It felt weird to Sasuke. Generally, she'd chatter continuously about all sorts of things. Irrelevant things, unimportant things. Her being quiet just didn't… make sense.

It was making Sasuke tremendously nervous. Also because of the plans he had. Suddenly, his spoon slipped from his hand because of the sweating, making a loud noise as it fell on the china plate.

Sakura looked up at him.

_Do it. Now._

He knew exactly how to do it, he had practiced over and over several times. But still, with her actually sitting opposite to him on his dining table, it seemed like his confidence was being sucked away by a black hole.

He looked at her plate. She was almost halfway done.

_I have to do it now._

"Sakura-"

She was looking at him with full attention.

Sasuke cleared his throat. "I have something to ask you."

He saw her brows furrowing a little bit. But she still didn't ask any questions.

"Well…" he rubbed the sweat away from his hand and reached inside his pocket.

He placed a small deep blue velvet box on the table between the two plates and saw her eyes go wide.

Getting his confidence back, he smirked a little and reaching out, opened the box.

Inside, there was a ring. A silver band adorned with a single dark red ruby.

He cleared his throat once again, "Now," he reached his right hand out to hold hers, "Sakura Haruno, will you marry me?"

He felt her small soft hand tremble inside his grip, her eyes went wide, "S-Sasuke…"

The expression on her face wasn't exactly what he had anticipated. There was something in her eyes… Something different… It wasn't just surprise…

"You didn't have to-"

"I know," he squeezed her hand lightly, trying to offer her some assurance. "But I want to ask you properly. I want to know if you want to marry me. Because I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

She looked shaken. He saw tears falling from her eyes onto her plate. She pulled her hand away to cover her face with. Sasuke was starting to get a little confused.

Did he make a mistake? Did he do something he wasn't supposed to do? Or was this how women normally reacted to a proposal?

He was absolutely clueless.

_But I had to do this._

To him, it was no longer a marriage he was going through with because of his parents. He was already in love with her. He wanted to know if she shared the same sentiments. If she wanted to be with him like he wanted to be with her. Not because it was what their parents had arranged, but because it was what  _she_  wanted.

He didn't think doing it outside in a public place was a good idea. That's why he had planned all of this, offering her the ring within the confines of his flat.

After a while, Sakura slowly removed her hands. Sasuke could see that the tip of her nose and her cheeks had turned red. He could feel his heart beating erratically in his chest.

"I do," she finally spoke in a raspy voice. Giving him a gentle smile, and Sasuke felt like he could breathe again. All doubts and insecurities disappeared in a moment.

He took the ring out of the box and very carefully placed in on her left ring finger. It suited her perfectly, as if it was meant for her. He lightly brushed his thumb over the ring and then placed a gentle kiss on it.

He saw her blush.

"Thank you, Sakura."

.

.

.

He was dropping her off since it was already late. Throughout the entire ride, he caught her looking at the ring several times.

"The ring," she spoke, examining it once again, "It isn't very expensive, is it?"

Sasuke was a little taken aback by that question.

"You know, I'm very clumsy," Sakura gave him an awkward smile, "I lose things pretty often. I'd feel worried going around wearing an expensive ring."

Sasuke's chest felt light again and he replied smugly, "It's not that expensive. But I picked it especially for you. So it's still very valuable."

Being flirtatious wasn't in his nature. But this, according to him counted as a really impressive performance.

Although his eyes were focused on the road, he could see her staring at him, bright green eyes shinning. After a while, she gave a soft smile and said, "Of course it is. Thank you, Sasuke. I promise I'll always treasure it."

She went back to admiring the ring once again, much to Sasuke's satisfaction.

.

.

.

"Goodnight, Sasuke," Sakura smiled gently as the two of them stood outside her house.

To Sasuke, it all looked like a dream. There was a gentle breeze, messing with her hair and the hem of her pink knee-length dress. The moon was almost full and the shadows of the trees were dancing with the wind.

Sakura tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and the moonlight reflected on the cherry like ruby of the ring. It reminded him that this woman, this beautiful woman standing in front of him was his. His to love and cherish. There was a strange feeling inside his chest. A completely foreign one.

Before he knew it, he had taken a step towards her. A single strand of pink hair was still stuck to her lips, thanks to the lip-gloss. Sasuke went ahead to remove it casually. But as his hand made contact with the soft skin of her face, suddenly all calculations went wrong. He felt like there was nothing else in this world. Nothing except the two of them under the magical moonlight.

He bent down and brushed his lips against hers. Very gently. He lingered there, a moment too long. Soon, she started to kiss him back. And there was  _nothing_  gentle about it. She was kissing him passionately, with everything she had. Taking him by surprise.

When they parted, they were both out of breath and pink in the cheeks. He saw tears streaming down her face. It left him a little confused. He was just about to ask her if she was okay but she spoke before he could.

"I'm so happy," she whispered with a smile on her face, "Thank you Sasuke," her tears were glistening in the moonlight.

* * *

Sasuke feels a little giddy in his stomach as he reminisces. That night, everything about it was so special, so ethereal, they left an indelible mark on his heart. In his mind, he has played these scenes again and again. Re-living every single moment innumerable times. And yet, every-time it feels just as special.

 _Today is the day_.

After today, she'd be his. And him hers.

For the rest of their lives.

It's a very serious commitment. But instead of making him nervous, somehow it only makes him very comfortable and warm inside. The idea of waking up every morning next to Sakura, seeing her smile every-day, listening to her constant chatters, sharing every aspect of his life with her. Then after a few years, there'd be babies. Tiny babies, half him half Sakura. He had never imagined himself looking forward to the future this much.

_Life is so strange. You never know how things are gonna change, huh?_

He lazily reaches out for his phone on the bedside table.

_Maybe she has sent a text?_

He still finds it hard to believe that he's so deeply in love. For someone who spent his teenage days, those infamous days when hormones make real fools out of people, he spent those days thinking about cars instead of girls and now, at twenty five, here he is.

To his satisfaction, he indeed finds a text from his would-be-bride. He smirks as he opens it.

' _I'm telling you because I really don't want you to embarrass yourself in front of people. Don't arrive at the wedding hall today because I won't._

_And also, I know this won't make a difference, but I am sorry.'_

He stares at the screen for a long time.

_What type of a prank is this?_

He calls her immediately as his brain starts functioning again. But surprisingly, it doesn't reach.

_What does this mean?_

_What is she doing?_

_Don't tell me she really did run away on our wedding day?_

_Did she get a cold feet?_

He tries calling her again as his brain storms through a million possible reasons behind her bizarre text. But in vain.

_What's wrong with her?_

_Damn it, Sakura. What are you thinking?_

Suddenly, scenes from that night flash in his mind.

That look, the one he couldn't figure out back then. The tears he had taken to be tears of joy. The concern about the ring being expensive.

_Guilt._

_Shame._

_Lies_.

Sasuke sits up on the bed once again, a vain throbbing in his forehead. The phone plops onto the grey mattress. But he doesn't really care, because he knows calling her won't make any difference now.

_Damn it! She didn't get a cold feet. She had it all planned._


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm so glad you could make it, Sasuke," Mikoto beams with happiness as she passes the small glass bowl of salad across the table.

Sasuke pricks one cherry tomato with the fork and puts it into his mouth. His mother observes him closely.

"How is it?"

"Hmm," he nods his head in appreciation. Without lifting his face. He plunges the fork back into the bowl. This time picking up some lettuce and cabbage shreds. "It's always perfect when you make it. Mine never tastes as good even though I follow the recipe exactly the way you tell me to."

He looks up at his mother on the opposite side of the dining table.

Mikoto laughs. "That's not it."

"It is, Mom. Your cooking is always the best."

"No. It's just that you grew up eating my cooking. That's why to you it's like the standard for how food should taste. It's not really about good or bad. And when it comes to cooking, no two people can do it the same. There's always going to be some subtle differences. It just can't be helped."

"Maybe. I just prefer your cooking over anything else." Sasuke takes a piece of the fish and chews on it attentively.

"If you're that fond of her cooking," Fugaku speaks for the first time. His dark black eyes glancing at his younger son from across the table. "You can visit more often. Regardless of how older you get or whatever you become, you two will always be our sons and this will always be your home. But I'm sure your mother has already made that clear to you."

His voice is devoid of any emotion and so is the look on his face. And as soon as he finishes talking, he returns his attention back to his plate. Resuming his eating. But Sasuke's face softens up and there's a faint smile.

"Thank you, Dad."

"I really wish Itachi could come too," Mikoto complains with a sweet smile on her face. "It's always like this. Either you or him. I've forgotten the last time we four had dinner together."

"Can't be helped, Mikoto. Our boys are grown men now. They can't always be here even if they want to." Fugaku doesn't lift his face from his food as he speaks.

"I know, I know. But I still can't help it. I miss my boys. Like you do too. But you're better at hiding it."

Fugaku looks up at his wife. The hint of a frown appearing on his forehead.

Sasuke almost chuckles. Happy to be with his parents after months. Enjoying his favourite dishes prepared especially for him by his mother. 

"Oh, by the way, Sasuke."

Sasuke looks up at his mother.

Mikoto sets the spoon down on the dish. The look on her face turning a tad serious. "Someone new joined our book club. She's a really nice person. We were just chatting the other day when she told me her elder sister has a daught-"

Like a dark cloud appears out of nowhere to cast its black shadow on the moon in a matter of seconds, the contented look on Sasuke's face turns hostile within moments. His gaze turns sharper, brows drawn together, jaw clenched.

"Is this," he stops to take a deep breath, "Is this why you asked me to come over?"

"What?" Mikoto's eyes go wide in surprise. "No. of course not, Sasuke. I just-"

"I told you to stop it, Mom. Again and again."

"Don't take that tone with your mother," Fugaku intervenes, sensing the poison in his son's voice.

Sasuke looks at his father. Two pairs of dark black eyes measure each other for a few moments before Sasuke bows his head slightly, "Please excuse me."

He gets up from his chair. Intending to leave the dining room.

"Where are you going, Sasuke?" Mikoto's voice sounds desperate.

"To my room."

"But your dinner-"

"I'm full already. I feel tired. I'll be going to bed now. Goodnight and thank you for the food. Enjoy your dinner." And with that, he leaves. Heading towards the staircase.

"Sasuke, No. Wait-" Mikoto rises up from her chair, ready to pursue her son but her husband's hand grips her arm. Preventing her.

"Let him be, Mikoto."

"But, Fugaku… He didn't even," she looks at Sasuke's dinner plate on the other side of the table. More than half the food still there. Feeling defeated, she falls back on her chair. "He… He was in fourth grade. He read about the continuous wars in Amegakure and how the kids there didn't have enough to eat. And ever since, I have never seen him waste food. Never."

"This…" Fugaku stops mid-sentence. As if searching for the right thing to say. "This is different."

"I know," Mikoto's voice shakes as she speaks. "I know. He might not be very expressive. But he's my son. I know him. I saw it. I knew it even though he never confessed it to me. He was in love. He was so in love with her." She covers her face with her palms. Fugaku doesn't say anything. Just gently puts his hand on her back.

"I will never forgive her," she shakes her head. "I don't care whatever her reason was. I'll never forgive that girl for what she did to Sasuke. She played with his feelings. She had no right to do that. I can never forgive her."

"You don't have to," Fugaku's voice is calm.

"What do I do? Tell me, what can I do? I am the one who did this to him. I am the one who introduced him to that girl. If only I hadn't done that-"

"Stop blaming yourself. You didn't know."

"But it is true. He was hurt. And I _am_ responsible. And it breaks my heart that I can't do anything to help him recover."

"Give him some time."

"It's been almost two years. And he's still just as bitter. How much longer do I have to see him suffer like this?"

Fugaku doesn't give her an answer. Because he does not have any.

"You know why he did all of this? He was never the type to obsess over which post he works at or how much he earns. All his efforts to get the promotion was so he could get out of this town. Because here, everyone knew. He couldn't go anywhere without people staring at him and whispering behind his back. In fact, most of the time they don't even have the decency to do it behind his back. But you know what the worst part of it is?"

She looks at her husband whose black eyes she finds are already on her. His gaze attentive.

"The fact that he got affected by it. He never cared about people or whatever they had to say about him. Never. But in this case, he couldn't ignore it. Because it was him who was actually hurt inside. And everyone kept talking about it like a broken record everywhere he went. He couldn't get over it. He couldn't forget even if he wanted, tried. That's why I was so happy when he finally got the promotion and moved to the city. I thought he could finally leave all of this behind and start again. But it's been six months and he's still the same."

"But trying to force him into another relationship won't solve that, Mikoto. You have to give him time. Regardless of how long it takes. He was hurt deeply. It won't be easy."

.

.

.

"Sasuke?" Mikoto is a little surprised to find her son sitting at the dining table by himself in the soft light of the early morning.

"Morning, Mom," Sasuke greets her with a straight face. "I was just having coffee."

"Isn't it way too early?"

"I told you I have to leave early. Didn't I?"

"But still."

"I have something to take care of. It's about work."

"So, this is what you do now? Work on Sundays?"

"More like making preparations for Monday's work," he almost smiles.

"It's the same," Mikoto rolls her eyes at him.

"No, it isn't. And I promised to meet Naruto in the evening. So, I have to get it done before that."

"Ah. Naruto," a gentle expression paints Mikoto's face. "It's been so long since I last saw him. Kushina too."

Sasuke sips his coffee without making a comment.

"I'm glad you get to hang out with him now. I remember how miserable you used to be when they moved to the city."

"I wasn't miserable," Sasuke scowls at his mother.

"I'm pretty sure you were. He was your best friend after all," she intentionally teases him with a smile.

And it invokes the desired reaction from her son. "He wasn't."

"He was. And your only friend too."

"No," Sasuke wrinkles his nose.

"Whatever," Mikoto chuckles. "I'll make you a quick breakfast. Don't you dare try to tell me you don't have time for that. You didn't even eat dinner last night. After I went through the trouble of preparing your favourite dishes."

.

.

.

"See you, Mom," Sasuke heads towards the door. But stops after a few steps.

"What happened? Did you forget something?"

He turns to face her. His eyes stay on her gentle face for a few seconds before he speaks. "I'm sorry about last night, Mom," his voice is broken, defeated. Almost like a whisper. He hangs his head down.

This comes as an utter surprise to Mikoto. Sasuke never exhibits his weaknesses. Even in front of his mother. He always tries his best to keep his problems to himself. Suffering in silence. Him showing his vulnerability to her so blatantly. She knows it must have taken him a lot of courage. And agony.

She puts her arms around him. Her baby boy is now a grown man. Almost two heads taller than her. And her arms are no longer enough to encompass his broad frame. But she pulls him as close to her as she can. "I'm sorry too, Sasuke." She pats his back gently.

Sasuke pulls back after a few moments. Mikoto looks him in the eye, her hands still on his arms. "Just remember this, Sasuke. Like your father said yesterday. We're always here for you. Always."

A faint smile finally appears on Sasuke's thin lips.

"I know."

Yes, he has suffered. Yes, he has been betrayed. By someone he loved. But he has a family. A loving and supportive family he's sure most people in the world aren't fortunate enough to have. He isn't alone. He never was. He never will be.

* * *

"What makes Mr. Darcy's character so appealing is the fact that he put the efforts to see what was wrong with himself. He admitted his own shortcomings and worked to fix them. That self-reflection part is most important."

"Agreed. I mean, if you consider his offensively proud behaviour when he is introduced in the story. From there we ultimately go to him being sincerely considerate of Elizabeth and even her family. It's a huge character development. Seriously." Ino leans her back against the baby blue wall of her room. Her teeth lightly biting at the back of the pencil.

"Yes. It was basically a two-step process. The first one being him finally admitting that in spite of all the odds, he indeed had fallen for Elizabeth. Then, the second one was realising that just because he had feelings for her, she won't accept his proposal when he was being blatantly disrespectful to her family. That was what triggered the actual change in his proud demeanor. Because to him, his love for Elizabeth was bigger than his pride." Sakura explains, sitting cross legged on the chair in front of Ino's bed. The expression on her face utterly serious.

"You're so good at it," Ino's brows furrow a little. "So serious."

"Eh?" Sakura doesn't catch it at first. A little taken aback by the sudden change of topic. "Well, I mean, I love it. I'm finally doing something I really enjoy. That's why I'm serious."

"I love it too," Ino sits straight. Throwing the pencil on the floral printed bedspread. "But I'm not particularly fond of love stories like this. They're generally too sweet. It's unrealistic. Men like Mr. Darcy don't exist in real life. In real life, they don't show their true nature so blatantly. They hide it perfectly and try their hardest to sweep you off your feet. They will be the sweetest human being ever in existence and will do everything just for you to say yes." Ino smiles, "And we being the idiots we are, do that sooner or later. And that's it. Now they have you wrapped around their little finger, and finally show their true colours. From then onwards, it's _you_  trying your hardest to be good enough but it just doesn't work. In the end, when things fall apart, it's you they blame. It's just the worst feeling on earth. First of all, a relationship you were emotionally invested in is over. And you are the only one who is suffering. He has most likely already found someone new. And on top of that, you are made to believe that you are the one who caused it. It's terrible. Just terrible."

Sakura's heart aches once again for her friend. "I really don't know what to say when you say these things to me, Ino. I feel so terribly sorry for you and I wish I knew you back then and could be there for you. But I can't and it makes me feel so helpless."

"What?" Ino lifts an eyebrow. "Come on, Sakura. Don't be like that. I'm totally over it. If I saw him on the streets now, I won't even spare him a second glance. I don't even hate him anymore. I'm completely indifferent. It's just that when I see love stories like this, I feel like it's all nonsense. Men don't change like that. No. It feels nice to think you'll change him. That you will be the savior who rescues him from the darkness and guides his life to love and happiness. But it doesn't happen. In real life when you see a messed up guy, just run as fast as you can and save your life. Cause you can't do shit. These men changing for good and all, it happens only in stories." Ino shakes her head vehemently.

Sakura watches her closely. Ino stops after talking too long and picks up the bottle from the bedside table. She gulps down the cool water to give both her dried throat and heated head some relief.

"You sound too bitter," Sakura finally comments as Ino puts the cap back on the bottle. "You're generalising all men. There are some good ones."

Ino stares at her for a while before tucking a lock of her perfectly straight blonde hair behind her ear. "Well, there are. My dad is good. Mom's lucky in that regard. They really love each other and love like that is good. I admit. But I've come to realise that it's hella rare. Trust me. Very few actually find it. The rest aim for it but then get stuck in relationships that do more bad than good." She leans against the wall once again. Crossing her arms over her chest.

Sakura holds her friend's gaze for a few moments before looking away. She stares outside into the afternoon sky through the window facing the bed.

"But like I said, I learnt my lesson because of that bastard. If he hadn't screwed me up the way he did, I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't even have met you. So, in the end, if I really do meet him on the streets someday, on second thoughts, I might have to thank him for a thing or two," Ino laughs loudly. But Sakura doesn't. She doesn't show any reaction at all. Her eyes still lost in the vast emptiness of the sky, she looks like she wasn't even listening to Ino's words.

"Sakura?"

"Do you think it's always men?" her voice is extremely detached. Lifeless even.

"What?" Ino frowns.

Sakura answers without looking away from the window. "You're so vocal about men being no good and destroying relationships. But what about women? Do you think all of us are good? Do you think we are all saints?"

Ino's blue eyes try to follow her best friend's gaze outside the window. But she can't find anything except the few white clouds in the dull blueness of the sky. And on top of that, Sakura's sudden strange behaviour starts to confuse her a little. "I didn't say that."

Sakura finally returns her gaze to Ino. The blonde eyes her friend attentively. Trying to pick clues to justify her strange behaviour. "I know there are women who hurt men too. But if you compare, the ratio is definitely much heavier on men's side."

"Yes," Sakura smiles. And Ino thinks there's a certain tinge of pain to it. "There are women who deceive men who have been nothing but kind and nice to them."

Ino finds herself at a loss for words.

"The thing you said about losing a relationship you were emotionally invested in and realising you are the only one who's suffering, sometimes women make men go through that too."

"Yes, I'm sure there are women like that," Ino closely observes Sakura's reactions as she utters the words.

"I'm glad you understand that, Ino," Sakura smiles again.

.

.

.

"What? But today is Sunday!" Ino complains, her voice a little too loud.

"Yes. But the other girl really wanted to go on this date. Hinata told me she could practically see tears in her eyes. Apparently she has found a date after months of trying," Sakura chuckles. "And she just requested me. But I'll feel bad if I don't go. Hinata will have to manage everything by herself."

"Seriously, add that to your résumé. _I cover for other employees because I feel bad about my employer having to manage everything by themselves_. I swear there'll be a queue to hire you." Ino rolls her eyes.

"Did I tell you that I won't be working for free? I'll receive one day's payment for today's covering?" Sakura smirks.

"Why are you still here? Won't you be late for your work? Run, Sakura, run."

Sakura laughs out loud.

"But return here though. We'll order Chinese and watch a film together!" Ino's voice is full of excitement. "We'll play music as loudly as we want and dance to our hearts' content. I'm so gonna take advantage of having this entire house to myself." She picks the band and ties her hair into a high ponytail. She picks a few strands of loose hair on her purple dress and walks to the bin to throw them away.

"You mean, to your heart's content?" Sakura raises an eyebrow.

Ino glares at her.

"I don't get it. Why are you so boring? Always studying and working. Do you even know how to have fun, Sakura? Seriously!"

"Studying is fun. My works are fun too."

Ino gives her a  _are you kidding me?!_  look and Sakura laughs again.

"That's better," Ino smirks.

"What?"

"I don't know what happened. But back then when I was talking about love and men and all, you were acting weird."

"Weird? Like?" a light furrow appears on Sakura's forehead.

"I don't know how to say it," Ino shrugs, "You looked lost. You sounded like… I don't know. I feel like there are things about you you haven't told me. I mean not because they're trivial things not worth telling. You're intentionally hiding them from me. Am I right?"

Sakura finds herself at a loss for words. She looks at Ino, her sky blue eyes boring into her. Trying to find confirmation of her accusation.

"Ino… I…"

"I'm not saying this because I'm mad at you. Let me make that clear first," Ino sits down on the edge of the bed, almost sinking into the soft mattress. "I know we all have things we can't tell anyone about. I'm not asking you for secrets as a proof of your friendship. I'm trying to tell you that you can share, you know. Whatever it is. It's not just about your strange behaviour before. I've noticed. You do this whenever we talk about love or men in general. I know something happened to you." Her gaze turns soft.

Sakura casts her eyes down. To her hands resting on her lap. "I feel like you'll hate me if I told you, Ino," her voice is barely audible.

"I won't."

"I deceived somebody who loved me."

It feels strange. It feels strange to admit it out loud to someone. She has known it in her heart all along. But telling another person. There's a fear. The fear of being judged, of being looked down upon, of being hated. But there's also a feeling of freedom. The guilty feeling that won't let her rest in peace. That'll always lurk in the darkest labyrinths of her mind and keep coming back to haunt her during her moments of weakness. She feels its shackles loosen up a little. And a few drops of tears escape her eyes.

"Sakura?" Ino shifts closer, resting a hand on her friend's back. And she cries. Covering her face with her hands. Her body shaking. "I'm such a terrible person Ino. I'm so selfish. I hurt him when he had been nothing but nice and kind to me. The two-faced men you talk about, I am just like them, Ino. I'm just like them."

Ino puts her arms around her friend. "You are not."

"Yes, I am."

"If you were, you won't be crying like this. You won't be feeling guilty. I'm sure you did something terrible. And that makes you a bad person maybe. But not as bad as them. They don't care about the people they hurt. They don't cry for the pain they caused them. They don't even care. No matter how bad you are, you're far far better than them."

Sakura cries and recalls the morning she had boarded the train. She was crying back then, too. The small pink soft cotton handkerchief she was carrying was soaked with tears. The coach was more or less empty and the few passengers in there were looking at her with eyes full of questions. An elderly lady even approached her asking if she was okay and if she needed help regarding anything. Sakura thanked her for her concern and told her she was fine. She knew the lady didn't believe the second part but she left her to be alone with her anguishes.

She was surprised. She had always imagined it to be the moment she'd get to know the real taste of freedom. A moment she'd feel ecstatic.

She was happy. She was happy for herself. For the new life she would have from then onwards. But the pain was so deep, so vast, it engulfed any last trace of joy. The feeling of freedom wasn't there. Instead, she felt terrible. For deceiving a person who loved and respected her like no-one else had ever done.

_You don't know that for sure._

She tried to reason with herself.

_It might all have been an act he put to win your heart. He might be like everyone else. So, don't blame yourself. You did the right thing. You thought of yourself first. There's nothing wrong about it. So, don't feel guilty._

But still, she couldn't help it. And worse, it wasn't exactly as good for herself as she had imagined it to be in the beginning. She hadn't only deceived someone who loved her. He was also the person she loved. And that part wasn't in her plans.

_Why did I have to fall in love with you? Why were you so nice to me? Why did you treat me the way I have always wanted people to yet no-one did? Why, Sasuke? Why? If only you were just a cheeky, arrogant bastard, it'd be so easy for me. I wouldn't have fallen for you. I wouldn't feel guilty. I'd rather be happy to have taught you a lesson._

"I want to let you cry as much as you want," Ino speaks, "But as your friend, I consider it my duty to point out that at this rate, you'll be late for your work."

* * *

"Thank you for coming today," Hinata's face lights up as she sees Sakura.

"Come on," Sakura waves a hand, "You're paying me for this. It's not like I'm doing it out of my generosity."

Hinata smiles, "Well, it's Sunday after all. I was afraid you'd have other plans and I'll have to manage here alone."

"Nah," Sakura shrugs her shoulders. "I don't have plans. I'm boring."

The two girls laugh out loud in unison.

.

.

.

"Oh," Hinata cries out. Checking a message on her phone.

Sakura looks up from the magazine she picked up to while away the time. It started to rain a while ago. The droplets of water are infesting the glass wall of the café, clustering together and moving towards the earth in small rivulets.

"I was supposed to pick up a dress from the dry cleaner's. I totally forgot. I promised Hanabi. She'll need it tomorrow," Hinata panics.

"Do you want me to go pick it up?" Sakura offers.

"No," Hinata refuses. "I can't let you pick up laundry for me now."

"Well, I don't really mind," Sakura shrugs. "We don't have many customers today. I'm basically just sitting here, doing nothing."

Hinata contemplates her offer for a few moments.

"Then, how about this? I go pick it up and drop it at my house. You manage here in the meantime? Like you said, we hardly have customers today."

"It's because of the rain I guess."

"Yeah. Bad day for business."

Sakura giggles. "But yes, we can totally do that. You go pick up your sister's dress."

"Thank you, Sakura," Hinata grabs the umbrella as she heads towards the glass door of the café. "You are being a big help today."

"I'm sure so far I've just served two cups of coffee and read the magazines," Sakura laughs.

She takes a look around the place. She really loves working here. Besides her employer's extremely sweet behaviour, she has also grown fond of this place. The matted yellow walls and the sunflower patterns on them, the lavender coloured ceiling and the pendant lamps hanging from it, the comfy chairs around the wooden tables, the polished wooden floor, the view of the ice cream parlour on the other side of the road visible through glass front wall. She has gotten accustomed to it all. Coming here makes her feel warm.

As the two girls leave, Sakura collects the mugs and plates, cleaning up the table.

She looks outside. The rain has gotten worse. Blurring the view across the road. She sighs. At this rate, there won't be customers.

* * *

"What do you mean you haven't left yet?" Sasuke yells into his phone.

"Calm down, calm down, Sasuke," his friend tries to reason with him from the other side. "The plumber was late and after he left, it started to rain. So, I thought I'd wait a while."

"And you forgot to remember that I am involved in this in some way? You know what? You don't have to wait  _a while_. Wait as long as you want. Wait for the entire evening. Cause I'm just going back," he growls.

"Wait, Sasuke. Why are you overreacting?"

"I am overreacting? You have the guts to say that when it's already fifteen minutes past our meeting time and you haven't left home yet? I don't even have an umbrella damn it," he looks around to see if there's a store so that he can buy one.

"Okay. I'm coming. I'll be leaving right now. At this very moment. Don't be that mad."

"You-"

"You're already there, right? Cherry On Top?"

"Yes," Sasuke turns around to read the ice cream parlour's name once more.

"It's just across the road. Just cross the road and you'll see it. It's got this huge lavender coloured name board with sunflower patterns all over it. You'll find it right away. Just go in and wait for me. I'm already leaving. Here, I just locked the door," Sasuke thinks he actually heard the sound of a door slamming. "I promise I won't keep you waiting for longer than twenty minutes."

"You won't. Because I'll be setting the timer. As soon as it's twenty minutes and you're not there, I will leave. And your time starts now," he hangs up. Tucking the mobile phone inside his pocket with a little too much force, he walks up to the crossing.

* * *

Sakura hears the door open and she looks up. A warm smile decorating her face.

"Welcom-"

Her sentence stops midway as she sees the visitor. Faded blue jeans and a light grey V-neck T-shirt that has patches of a darker shade in places where the rain drops have hit him. The water has messed up his dark black locks and there's a few drops of water on his pale face. It takes her less than a fraction of a second. The sharp face, the pointed nose and thin lips and piercing black eyes that are currently upon her. It's all too familiar.

She freezes on the spot. Words refuse to come to her. She feels her heart hammering loud and fast against her chest. Her throat goes dry, her lips go dry, her small palms start to sweat. She stands there, unable to move a muscle. Unable to even collapse onto the ground.

_What do I do?_

_Oh God! What do I do?_

Sasuke's furrows his narrow eyes a little. His gaze turns sharper. A small crease appears on his forehead. The girl in the red shirt, white leggings and red sandals. It takes him the blink of an eye to recall how she used to look when that pink hair of hers wasn't long enough to be tied into a braid. When he knew her as a sweet, innocent girl. Unaware of the twisted game she was playing with his heart.

He knows she remembers him. And judging by the panicked look on her face, what she did. There's a satisfaction somewhere inside him. Almost making him smirk. He gives up on the idea of leaving and finding another place and walks inside. His steps confident and unbothered. He takes a seat on a table near the glass wall. Deciding to ignore her presence.

Because it took him less than a second to figure it out. Being in here, just the two of them, it's her who is going to feel more uncomfortable. And he couldn't resist the temptation.

She made him go through much more. Much much more. Compared to that, what he's doing, is nothing.

_This is only fair._

He reminds himself of all the nights when he couldn't sleep. Trying to figure out how much of it was fake. In the end, he decided it was the entirety. He decided that had she ever really loved him, she wouldn't have done that. She couldn't have done that. Because it didn't make any sense.

Sitting here, it feels like a sweet revenge. Making her panic, seeing her conscience haunting her for her past actions, it feels nice.

He stares into the haziness of the rain-soaked evening across the glass wall. Deciding to conceal the tightness inside his chest at seeing her after all this time. Because he wants her to see how unaffected he is. How miserably she failed to break him. And also because he isn't stupid enough to make the same mistake twice.

_This is my test. And I'll make sure to pass it._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the ring from a golden one with a pearl to a silver one with a ruby. When I started this fic, never in my wildest dreams could I ever imagine actually seeing Sasuke give Sakura a ring in an official story. I still remember the moment I saw that spoiler. And as I said it in the group chat, everyone was like WHAAAAAT?! Damn, I'll never forget that feeling. I mean I'm giggling as I write this. I feel giddy every time I read that scene or the lake scene. Esaka Sensei's writing is so beautiful!  
> Whatever, my point is, to me the only valid ring now is a silver ring with a ruby.

Sakura stands there, petrified. Wide green eyes fixed upon the man sitting at the table. The sound of her own heartbeat echoing in her ears.

_What do I do? What do I do now?_

_Hinata… Please come back…_

_Anyone… Please…_

_Please…_

His attitude is what leaves her even more puzzled. Staring outside, not even sparing her a second glance. As if he didn't even realise it was her.

But she knows he did. She knows for sure. She didn't miss the way his jaw clenched for a moment and the slight frown on his forehead as he laid his eyes on her.

He knows it's her.

_So, why is he ignoring me? As if he can't even see me?_

Sasuke can feel her eyes upon him. And it takes everything in him to not look her way.

_Just one glance. What harm can it possibly cause?_

The voice in his head screams but he refuses to give in.

He has resented her, detested her with every single cell of his being. For almost two years now. He has desperately wanted to meet her. Just once. And he had all the questions ready.

Questions he had every right to know the answers to.

But seeing her right in front of his eyes, it's now that he realises.

_Who am I kidding? I can't do that._

The only reason he had those questions ready, all set to attack, was because he never really expected to meet her ever again.

It's so easy, she is standing right here. Alone with him. And he wants to act like it's his much awaited revenge. By making her feel guilty. By being indifferent to her. But in reality…

_I'm just a coward._

He simply doesn't have the courage. If he asks her and she admits that all of it, the entirety of their _relationship_ was just an act on her part, he won't be able to take it.

_How pathetic am I?_

_Of course it was all an act. She never loved me. Had she felt anything for me, she wouldn't have done that._

And he hates himself. He hates himself for how vulnerable the idea still makes him. How easily she toyed with his heart. Made a fool out of him.

He almost laughs at himself. She probably doesn't even care. Of course she was surprised to see him. That's a given. No-one would want to meet someone they've stolen from, right? But that was it. Seeing he has no intentions of confronting her, she's probably relieved now. She probably feels free after all this time.

The bell chimes and a blonde man enters the café. Wearing an orange coloured hoodie; so bright that it almost hurts the eye.

"Oh, Sakura? Why are you here today? Where's Tenten?"

Suddenly snapped out of her thoughts, Sakura looks at the man in front of her. His bright blue eyes sparkling, and a genial smile on his face.

"Uh… She… She went on a date," Sakura mumbles.

"Oh? Isn't that great!" His eyes roam around for a while. "Where's Hinata?"

"She went to the dry cleaners."

"Dry cleaners? In this rain?" Naruto makes a face that would've definitely made her laugh if only the situation wasn't like this.

"Y-yes. She needed to pick up her sister's dress."

Sakura thanks him inside her head. For appearing at the right time and saving her from the horror of being stuck here with Sasuke. The worst is over. He had his chance and didn't confront her. She feels relieved.

But there's an emptiness, a feeling of loss that she can't quite comprehend yet.

_I met him and… Nothing happened… I should be happy. Right?_

"Oi, Sasuke!" Naruto turns around and waves his hand to his friend. A little too enthusiastic for the gloomy mood surrounding the atmosphere.

_What?!_

_They know each other?_

The anxiousness comes back to invade her.

"You're such a drama queen. I really thought you were going to leave. I literally ran here," Naruto continues grumbling as he pulls the chair and takes a seat.

Sasuke looks at the big purple wall-clock to realise it's been almost half an hour.

"Shut the fuck up," he spits out the words.

Almost startling Naruto. A frown appears on the forehead of the blue eyed man. "Whoa! Are you especially pissed today? Man, it's gonna be bad."

It's only after the words leave his mouth that Sasuke realises how hostile it sounded. And he knows. He knows it's stupid. And pointless. Taking the anger out on Naruto.

_Not like it's gonna fix anything._

And he tries.

_Calm down. You can't let her affect you. Rather, you can't let her know how much she still affects you. How much power she still holds over you. You can't._

He takes a deep breath and straightens his back.

Naruto keeps blabbering but none of his words reach Sasuke. It all feels like background noise, nothing registering in his brain.

Naruto suddenly turns around and calls out.

"Sakura, our orders."

_Orders?_

She looks at the table. At Sasuke sitting opposite to Naruto.

A wave of terror runs through her body.

_No!_

_Please no!_

_Is this my payback?_

She drags her feet towards the wooden table. Her heart feels like it's going to burst open. Her steps falter.

"I'll have a banana muffin and a hazelnut cappuccino," Naruto smiles brightly.

Sakura feels her entire body shake so violently, she fears he'll see. Being in such close proximity of him, it's more terrifying than her imaginations could ever do justice to. She's scared to even turn her face to him.

_I can't… I can't…_

Her stomach hurts from the stress.

"How many years do you need?" Naruto scowls at his friend.

"I…" he looks at her. Eye to eye. For the first time since the accidental eye contact when he entered the café. The commotion inside his chest doesn't leak onto his face. The face Sakura sees is devoid of any malice, any adoration. Any emotion. It's as blank as a white sheet of paper.

"A p-"

He stops. Remembering.

"And a pour-over for him," Sakura gave him a smug smile as she placed his order before the waiter could even ask him.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously though, there are so many things to try," she rolled her eyes at him.

"I like coffee."

"Lucky coffee," she said dramatically. "Not many have that privilege."

He scowled.

"You're so conservative. _I like A so I'll never give B to Z a chance_." She made her voice deeper as she spoke. To imitate him.

"Tch."

Calling him conservative over a cup of coffee, wasn't that a bit too much?

"All I needed to do was go out with you three times and I can already order for you. You're so predictable."

He didn't understand if she was being flirty or mean. This whole thing was an entirely new dimension to him. But he enjoyed it. Bantering with her felt like fun if that made any sense.

The old memory invokes a feeling of extreme disgust in him. Towards her is what he wants to believe but he knows it's actually towards his pitiful older self.

"I'll have the same," he speaks with a tone of extreme disinterest and looks away from her.

She just gives a slight nod before practically running away from the two men and finding refuge behind the counter. Finally allowing herself to sigh loudly.

_Banana muffin and hazelnut cappuccino?_

_That's so unlike him._

_I guess that's what time does to people. The Sasuke I knew is gone._

"How are your parents? Man, I haven't seen them in ages. I miss auntie's lemon tart. I still remember the taste."

Naruto smiles with a nostalgic look in his face

"Hinata makes lemon tarts too. On Tuesdays and Thursdays. But they sell out super-fast. It's really popular."

Sasuke blinks. "Who's Hinata?"

Naruto stares at him. Open mouthed and wide eyed.

"You're kidding. Right?"

"I've never been more serious."

"What the- I told you."

"Told me what?"

"About her."

"Clearly, I don't remember," Sasuke stares blankly at his friend.

Naruto shakes his head. "You're impossible."

"Yeah. I got that. Who's Hinata?"

"The owner of this café and the girl I told you about."

_The girl I told you about?_

"Aa. You mean the girl you were one-sidedly in love with?"

"Oi! Watch your tongue. You don't even know the full story."

"What story?"

"Well… I kinda… You know," Naruto scratches the back of his head with an idiotic smile on his face. "I got a ticket- I mean two tickets for this piano concert. And well, I don't know shit about piano."

"It's not just piano," Sasuke comments nonchalantly.

Naruto narrows his blue eyes. "What are you trying to say?"

"Nothing," Sasuke shrugs.

After glaring at him for a few seconds, Naruto resumes his story. "Anyway. My point is Hinata has a knack for these things. So, I asked her if she'd like to go with me and she said yes!"

Naruto grins ear to ear and his eyes sparkle with pure joy.

_This idiot, he looks so damn happy._

_So transparent. So in love._

_I used to be like that too. Maybe not as obvious as him. But I've felt it too. That feeling._

"I'm gonna ask her out officially. As in I'm gonna ask her to be my girlfriend."

"Hmph."

"What about you?"

"What about me?" Sasuke raises an eyebrow.

"How long are you gonna torture the ladies? I say, what happened was for the best. That one was clearly a fraud. So, it's actually better she ran away. Besides, she was just someone your parents came up with. Now you're free to go find someone _you_ like."

_That's the problem, you see. True, Mom was the one who introduced her to me but in the end, I did end up falling for her. Had I not, things would have been much easier._

It was because he loved her that it hurt so bad. The stronger the feelings of affection, the deeper the stab of betrayal.

_If only I hadn't been stupid enough to fall for her…_

As if to provoke his feelings of self-loathing, Sakura arrives carrying a tray. He clenches his teeth.

"I have no interest in stupid things like love."

Sakura stops. As if electrocuted.

"What? And why not?"

"I don't trust women."

"Wow! That's such a generalisation. And a stupid one at that," Naruto crosses his arms over his chest. "Just because one girl deceived you, you decided all the women in the world are like that? Your mother is a woman too. Your sister-in-law?"

Unable to come up with a counter, sasuke turns his face away.

Sakura feels like she's going to be sick. Her hands start to tremble, almost making her drop the tray. Her legs feel like they're about to give in. Making her collapse on the spot.

"Y-your order," she can barely hear her own voice, throat completely dry, head spinning. She leans forward to place the foods on the table. It takes her shaking hands a lot of effort to carefully place the cups without spilling the cappuccino. But as she leans down, the silver necklace that was tucked inside the collar of her shirt slips out all of a sudden. On display right in front of Sasuke's dark black eyes.

Realising what just happened, Sakura freezes. The blood completely draining from her face. Leaving her pale like a zombie.

Horrified, she looks at Sasuke. Whom she finds, staring at her. Gawking at her wide eyed. Not even blinking.

_He saw it!_

She places the last plate of banana muffin in front of him. A little too forcefully. Creating a thud against the table's surface.

"Thank y-"

Naruto doesn't even get to finish his words. She turns around and practically runs away.

"What's wrong with her?" Naruto turns his head, following her with his gaze. Sasuke just sits there, a new storm taking form inside his head.

* * *

"Ino, I'm really very sorry. But I'll be going home tonight," she glances at the road to check if the bus is here.

"What?! But we made plans."

"I'm really sorry. We'll do it next week. I just… don't feel like doing it today."

"Are you okay, Sakura? You sound kinda weird." Ino's concerned voice reaches her through the phone.

_No. I'm not. I'm not okay. Not at all._

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just… need to… I'll see you in class tomorrow, Ino."

She hangs up before Ino can question her any further. At the distance, she sees the bus approaching.

.

.

.

Sakura throws herself onto the small bed. The lower halves of her legs dangling. The tears she had been holding back with every ounce of resolve she could gather, finally break free. She presses her face into the mattress and cries.

_I'm sorry._

_I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Sasuke. Please forgive me. Please. I'm so sorry._

Her body shakes violently.

_Why didn't you confront me? You had such a great opportunity. You could demand an explanation. What I did to you, it was so awful. So cruel. I broke your heart. But more importantly, I broke your trust._

The sound of her sobs resonate inside the tiny room.

_In the back of my mind, I've always had this fear. That someday out of the blue, I'll just meet you. No warning, nothing. Just you and me face to face all of a sudden. And you'll come at me, bombarding me with all your questions. I have dreaded any possible encounter between us._

_But now that we finally did meet, and you didn't do any of that, I should feel relieved. Right? The confrontation of nightmares is finally over and I no longer have to live with this fear constantly choking my heart. I should feel free._

_So, why don't I?_

_Why didn't you come at me? Why didn't you demand answers? Answers you have every right to know?_

_If you did, if only you did, then I'd be able to tell you why. I'd get a chance to defend myself. To ask you for forgiveness. I'd be able to… Maybe I'd be able to make it up to you in some way._

_But you didn't even give me a chance. You just cut me out of your life. As simple as that._

_And I know I deserve this and far worse, but it hurts. It hurts so bad. It would have been better if you resented me instead. Your indifference hurts a million times more. Had I known this would happen…_

_Maybe it would've been better if I hadn't done that? Maybe I shouldn't have run away and just gotten married?_

_But…_

She lifts her face to look at the desk beside the small bed. The books and the notebooks and the pens there. The sticky notes. The files.

 _This was my dream. I had to fight so hard. All by myself. No-one ever took my side, no-one ever stood up for me. If I didn't do this, I'd be looked down upon like that my whole life_.

' _A failure.'_

' _Wasted potential.'_

' _Good for nothing.'_

' _A lost cause.'_

_'She's gone crazy.'_

Warm tears flood her face as she recalls.

_I was so desperate, so desperate. I was hell-bent on not letting them win. And I finally made it. I finally did it._

_But at what cost?_

' _I don't trust women.'_

His unforgiving words ring in her ears.

_It's me. I am the one who did that to you. I'm such a horrible person. So selfish. I only thought of myself. Only worried about myself._

_What have i done?_

_Oh god! What have i done?_

* * *

Frustrated, Sasuke sits up on the bed. His eyes find the digital clock on the bedside table.

2:17

_Damn!_

He grabs the bottle and gulps some water. The cold liquid calms his nerves to some extent. He sighs.

_Why does she still have it?_

He pictures the fine silver chain around Sakura's neck. And hanging from it like a pendant, a ring. A familiar silver ring with a red cherry-like ruby.

_Why is she still wearing it?_

Is it because it's expensive? Back then he denied it, but of course he wasn't going to give his would-be-bride a cheap ring. All she needs to do is to take it to a jewelry shop. And she'll know.

_But if that's the case… Wouldn't it be wiser to just sell it?_

_And let's say she wanted to keep it, for whatever reason, she could've just kept it in a box or something. Inside a drawer. Why does she wear it in a necklace?_

_Over her heart?_

'Tch.'

He grips his hair with both of his hands. So forcefully that it hurts his scalp.

_What the hell am I even doing?!_

_She kept that ring, she still wears it. Big deal!_

_She deceived me, lied to me, played with my feelings, made a fool out of me._

_Shouldn't it be enough?_

He throws his head back in frustration. Bumping it against the headboard.

* * *

"Naruto," Sakura swallows hard as she timidly calls him.

Naruto lifts his face from the laptop.

"Oh. Sakura. What's up?"

His smile, as bright as ever. But it does little to give her the courage she desperately seeks.

"I… wanted to ask you for a favour."

"Anything for you."

"Well… Your friend… You see… The friend you came here with the other day…" She fumbles with the hem of her sleeve.

Naruto frowns a little.

"Aah! You mean Sasuke?"

"Yes… Him…"

_Sasuke_

She doesn't dare to say his name out loud.

"Can you please ask him to meet me once? Just once. Please?" she pleads.

Naruto raises an eyebrow in amusement.

"Oh?! Sasuke. Huh?" A small smirk plays on his lips. "That bastard has always been popular among women. Even back when we were in school together."

She finds herself a little unsure of how to respond. He's clearly misunderstanding the situation. But she can't blame him, can she?

Besides, it doesn't really matter. If he tells Sasuke, he'll know.

"Do you want his number? I'll totally give it to you," he pulls his mobile phone out of his pocket.

"NO," she screams.

She shakes her head violently, "No."

Naruto frowns.

"I don't want his number."

_I still have it saved in my phone. Unless he changed it, I still have his number. I just don't have the courage. I'm afraid he won't give me a chance._

"Please just ask him to meet me once. Just once. I won't take more than ten minutes. And I won't ever disturb him again. Never."

She sounds like she's about to cry. For a few seconds, Naruto stares at her wide eyed before finally muttering a, "Okay."

"Thank you, Naruto," she bows her head in gratitude.

"Oh, come on. You're making it weird," he laughs. "By the way, can I get another refill?" He pushes the empty coffee cup towards her.

Sakura's expression turns serious. "It'll be the last one."

"Thank you, Sakura," Naruto grins, "You're the best."

She shakes her head before leaving and he turns his attention back to the laptop on the table in front of him.

* * *

"Tell her I refused," Sasuke hangs up the phone.

_How dare she?_

_Just how dare she?_

Besides, what can she possibly have to say to him? Does she want to make excuses? After all this time? Does she want to get back with him again?

_Did I not hide it well?_

She was always good at reading him. Even though they had only been together for a short while. Still… It always baffled him how great she was at seeing through him. He found it amusing. But now, it suddenly scares him.

_Did she figure out how much power she still holds over me? Is that why she wants to see me again?_

He knows deep in his heart that if she stands in front of him, explaining why she had to do it, why she didn't have a choice, asking him to forgive her, it won't be good form him. All his resolve, everything seems to crumble down when she is close to him.

_There's no way I'm seeing her again. She did what she did. That chapter is closed._

His eyes hurt a little after staring at the computer screen for too long. He casts his gaze outside the window. Beyond the skyscrapers where the sun is setting down, painting the sky in a reddish glow.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke can't keep the irritation out of his voice.

Naruto doesn't even bother. He steps inside, throwing the shoes off his feet haphazardly and marches in as if he owns the place. Heading straight into the kitchen, he opens the fridge and takes out a bottle of water and starts drinking it.

"Aaaah! I was so damn thirsty!"

"The fuck do you want here?"

"To get you back to your senses."

Sasuke scowls.

"Just meet her once. It's not going to hurt."

_It's not going to hurt?_

He almost laughs out loud.

"You're not very sharp, are you?"

"Huh?"

Well, given that Sakura isn't an uncommon name, maybe he could let it slide.

"I swear you won't regret it. She's one of the sweetest girls I've seen in my entire life," Naruto speaks almost dramatically.

"Oh? Is she really?" Sasuke can't help the smirk. "You seem to know her very well?"

"Well, I…" Naruto smiles awkwardly, "I don't know her _that_ well. But Hinata does and she just doesn't get tired praising her. She's been working there for a little over a year. She's friendly and gentle and caring and very, very hard-working."

"Is she?" Sasuke walks past his friend and takes a bottle of tea out from the fridge.

"Yes, she attends classes all day and then works at the café till late night."

"Classes?" Sasuke stops midway while pouring the cold drink into a glass.

"Yes. At the university."

_University?_

_University of Konoha?_

"And on weekends, she works at the bookstore near the station. You know, the huge one that's open all day?"

"Hn," Sasuke takes the glass and walks out of the kitchen to take a seat on the comfy volcanic grey couch.

"The fuck Sasuke! You poured a glass for yourself and didn't give me any?" Naruto points an accusing finger towards him. "Is this how you're supposed to treat your guest?"

Ignoring him, Sasuke takes a sip of the refreshing beverage.

_How did she get into KU? Didn't she say there was an exam?_

"Wow! Tomatoes, tomatoes and more tomatoes. Awesome!"

Sasuke lifts his face to find Naruto sitting in front of his fridge, looking inside.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for something to eat."

"Go look in your own fridge."

"Ah! Here we go," Naruto stands up with a plate of leftover spaghetti. "You're not gonna eat it. Are you?"

"Just so you know, it's from a week ago. If you die from food poisoning, I won't be responsible." Sasuke sinks back into the couch. Drinking his tea.

Naruto appears after a while. With a plate of steaming hot spaghetti and a glass of tea. He places the glass on the low table and puts the fork into the pasta and rolls it.

"I know you're not taking me seriously. But I really mean it. You see, Sakura is… She's very sincere and… I don't know, maybe I'm not the right person to do this but let me just tell you this. You're not the first good-looking guy she has seen. Or one with money. I've been visiting that café since before she started working there and I've seen guys trying to flirt with her several times. But she always politely declines their advances. She struggles financially. You know what living here in the city is like. Even renting the smallest apartment costs like crazy. It'd be so much easier if she found herself a rich boyfriend."

_Or, if she sold that ring. I'm sure it'd help a lot._

_Okay! Stop making everything about that fucking ring._

"But she doesn't do that. Instead, she works as hard as she can. She-"

"I'll do it."

"Eh?" The fork remains in his hand. Mouth open, Naruto stares at his friend.

"I'll see her."

* * *

Sasuke stands, leaning against the wall in front of the plaza. Hands stuffed inside his pockets. The sun is almost down, darkness enveloping the city bit by bit. But the bright lights flashed in front of him counter the invasion of the night. Flocks of people coming out of and going into the station. Some sitting here and there on the stairs. Everyone busy with their own life. Minding their own business. No-one has time to be bothered about others. That was the reason he moved here after all. Sometimes, the best way to find seclusion is to stand in the middle of a crowd.

_It was all because of her. And in the end, why am I here again?_

_I was trying to make progress. But doesn't it take me a few steps back?_

_Is it just a few steps? Doesn't it take me back to square one?_

Suddenly, the lights feel too bright to his eyes, almost dazzling. The noises too loud.

_Why did I agree to this?_

He looks at the wristwatch.

_Should I just leave? Not like I'll owe her an explanation for leaving without notice._

Through his inner turmoil, as he lifts his face, he sees her. Walking towards him with steady footsteps. A floral printed red A-line skirt that stops midway between her knees and ankles, a loose white top and red ballet flats. A red bag hanging from her right shoulder.

_Still like red, huh?_

She spots him from a distance and stops on her track. Green eyes on him. He holds her gaze, not moving his eyes away. But does nothing else to acknowledge her.

She watches him, holding her breath. He really is standing there, right in front of her. Just a few steps and she'll be close enough to touch him.

She feels dazed, her chest overflowing with too many feelings she can no longer tell apart. Even though Naruto told her, she still had her doubts.

_What if he stands me up?_

Not like she has a right to complain.

But seeing him stand there, waiting for her…

_It's almost like nothing has changed. As if I could just run to him and start chattering like I did before._

But she knows she can't.

_And I am the one to blame._

A sharp pain erupts from her chest. Looking at him, standing there leaning against the brick wall, hands inside the pockets of his light grey skinny trousers. The sleeves of his Prussian blue shirt rolled up. She knows he left the jacket in his car. He didn't like wearing formals. If not for work, he always preferred casuals.

She sighs. Then, resumes walking again. Steps measured. Sasuke finally stands straight, letting go of the wall's support. He takes his right hand out of the pocket and runs it through his messy black hair.

She finally closes the distance and stands right in front of him. Looking up at him with her green eyes glittering in the light.

He can see the way those big eyes look a little sunken and her cheeks that once used to be plump are now broken. Her clavicles stick out as well. She's gotten boney.

The differences he missed the other day because of the abruptness of their encounter, he notes it all today.

He sees the strands of pink hair that have escaped from her braid after a long day. He recalls Naruto's words as he sees the shadow of fatigue looming over her entire figure.

_Has she eaten?_

"H-hello Sasuke," she bows her head just a teeny tiny bit. The uncertainty evident in her tone.

And it scares him. Seeing her standing here, so dangerously close, her eyes on him, her voice pouring into his ears, calling his name. There's a whirlpool of emotions inside his chest and he feels his strength, his resolve getting soaked away like water gets soaked by sand. He feels the urge to create a distance.

_Do it now._

_Draw the line. Or it'll be too late._

"Miss Haruno," he gives a slight nod.

He sees the shock on her face. And it hurts.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry but I have to look out for myself. I can't make the same mistake twice._

And he doesn't quite understand.

_Why does it hurt to see her hurt?_

After staring at him wide-eyed for a few seconds, Sakura smiles awkwardly, "Good evening… Mr. Uchiha."

Since their very first meeting at that café, she had always called him by his name. So, it tastes foreign on her tongue, sounds alien to her ears.

_Mr. Uchiha._

It's as if she isn't calling him, but someone else.

_But isn't that right? I left Sasuke behind. This man standing in front of me, who is he to me?_

She forces a smile, "Thank you for agreeing to see me. I really appreciate it."

He stands there, listening to her talk to him in that awkward formality.

She pulls the bag from her shoulder and reaches inside it with her left hand. Rummaging through it for a while, she brings out a small pink envelope.

"Here," she holds it out in front of him with both hands, "I thought I should return it to you."

_After all, it has long lost its meaning. It was selfish of me to try to act like it was still there. Especially when I am the one who single-handedly ruined the promise it held._

A little uncertain, Sasuke takes the envelope from her. It feels a little heavy in his hands. Much heavier than a few pieces of paper can possibly be. As he opens the flap, inside, he finds the ruby ring. Immediately, his eyes shoot up. Looking at her neck. And he can no longer find the silver necklace there.

"I'm really sorry for not returning it to you sooner. And I had the audacity to continue wearing it after…" she searches for the words as she looks at his face. The lack of anything remotely close to an emotion therein makes her heart drop. "I'm very sorry."

She hangs her head.

"I know it doesn't make a difference. Especially since I'm only doing it after we happened to meet again by chance. But still, I apologise for everything I did." Her voice starts to shake, tears sneak into the corners of her eyes.

_I know you hate me and won't ever forgive me. And I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life. Waking up every morning and going to bed every night with the knowledge that the man I love resents me. This is more painful than any harsh words you could possibly have thrown my way._

_This is what I deserve._

"Thank you for everything, Mr. Uchiha."

Her vision blurs as the tears fill her eyes.

_Thank you for being kind to me, for not looking down upon me like everyone else did, for treating me with respect._

_I wonder what could have happened had I told you. Had I had some faith in you. But I was so scared. You see, those I believed would be the ones to shield me when people were throwing rocks at me were the first ones to throw them at me. That's why I got so accustomed to it. To walking through it by myself as everyone kept attacking me. I just couldn't believe that anyone would ever want to be there, with me, on my side._

_Do I sound pathetic? Like I'm making up excuses, trying to play the victim?_

_I guess that's what it sounds like._

"Thank you," she utters again in her almost choking voice.

And there's something in her tone that hits him. Hits that one spot deep inside his heart. Absolutely confused, he just stands there. Not uttering a word, not moving a muscle.

It was so easy to resent her, to hold a grudge against her; as long as he hadn't seen her. But why is it that the moment she stands in front of him, her green eyes looking extremely sad and tired, his heart wants to sympathise with her so bad?

She looks at his face for a few moments. As if waiting for something. Then, realising she won't get whatever she is searching for, she bows her head again, "Thank you for your time."

And she spins around.

His hand twitches to reach out to her. To stop her from walking away from him once again. But before he can act upon it, she has already moved. And all he can do is stand there looking helplessly at her retreating back.

_Why did you do that, Sakura?_

She wipes her cheeks with her hand as she runs. In the middle of the crowd, no-one notices her tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to ask you to kindly lower your expectations. Things are not as dramatic and exciting as you're thinking. I mean, it's me. My ideas are always very mundane. So, don't hurt yourself by expecting something extraordinary from me. Thank you.
> 
> Whatever, happy festive season y'all. Enjoy a lot and keep watching that cut of Sasuke returning home as Sakura waits for him.
> 
> Love,
> 
> June 🎄🎁❤️  
> [23.12.2019]


	4. Chapter 4

Sakura throws the sunscreen back into the bag and gulps down some water. Getting ready to leave, bag on her shoulder, the red umbrella in hand. To shield herself from the heat of the mid-noon. Because migraine is no fun.

_If it's this hot already, how am I going to survive summer? Damn climate change. But someone make the politicians understand. Ughhhh!_

Frustrated, she walks with a little too much force as she prepares herself to leave the comforts of the air-conditioned establishment.

"Sakura," her employer's voice stops her. Prompting her to turn around.

The elder woman's heels make a click clack noise against the polished wooden floor as she walks towards her.

"You have the aura of someone ready to go into battle," she eyes her head to toe; "Here," she holds out a pretty notebook with cherry blossom patterns on it.

Not understanding the gesture, Sakura looks up at the blonde woman.

"Take it."

Still uncertain, she reaches out her right hand, "What is this, Ms. Tsunade?"

"A notebook obviously," Tsunade makes a face.

_Okay, that wasn't the right question apparently._

"Something's been bothering you."

It's not a question, it's a statement. A very straight forward statement that leaves Sakura no room to defend herself. To claim that she's perfectly fine. That nothing's bothering her at all.

And it leaves her at a loss for words.

"Write it down. All of it. Don't hold back. Just let it out. No-one's going to see it. No-one's going to judge you. But you'll feel the weight lift off your chest."

For a few full minutes, Sakura just stares at the woman standing in front of her.

"How do you…"

"Hmmm… Let's see," Tsunade crosses her arms over her chest, "You've been acting strange lately. Hyperactive I think is the correct word to describe your current state. At first I thought it was just a mood thing. There are days when we simply feel more motivated. Like there are days when we feel down or irritated for no apparent reason. But it's been lasting a little too long to be just a 'mood'. I mean, two full weeks have passed and you've definitely seen your friends in the meantime. And yet you're still acting the same so clearly, you can't talk to people about whatever is bothering you," she shrugs, "It's good and all, channeling your attention to other things. Work, studies, maybe some hobbies. But certain thoughts are very stubborn. They don't go away like that. They just hide in the deeper parts of your head. You can't keep yourself busy 24x7. At one point, you'll have to stop and that's when it'll come back to haunt you. So, get it out. It'll help. I promise."

Sakura can't come up with anything to say. She looks at the notebook, the beautiful cherry blossom patterns on the cover in different shades of pink. Her namesake. And then she looks up again.

"Write it all. _Everything_ you're feeling. Every fucking thing. You can just burn it later if you feel insecure someone might see it someday. But let it all out."

"Th-thank you," Sakura opens the zip of her bag to put the notebook in.

"Also, if you can, forget I used the F-word right now. And drink water. For god's sake, it's not even summer yet and it's already becoming a survival challenge." She shakes her head.

.

.

.

Sakura soaks the rice and chops the spring onions. Intending to make some quick fried rice, having given up on the idea of preparing yet another elaborate meal which never seems to work.

_Maybe Ms. Tsunade is right. Maybe writing it down will give me some respite. A badly needed closure._

Her kitchen knife keeps raising a steady noise against the wooden surface of the chopping board that's already decorated with innumerable fine scars.

* * *

Sasuke's eyes narrow a little as he spots her. All it takes him is a single glance. That hair. Tied into a messy braid. She's returning from university given the hour. And also if the bag on her shoulders is any indication. She's a few feet ahead of him, walking down the pavement.

_Just a pace faster and she'll be literally running._

Sasuke almost rolls his eyes as he presses onto the accelerator.

"Get in." It startles Sakura when the car stops beside her so abruptly.

"Sa- Mr. Uchiha?"

The way she stares at him, it makes him feel like she has suddenly seen the leader of an alien race declare that he's going to take over the earth. Too surprised to even look surprised.

"Get in. Quick. I'll get into trouble if I stop here for too long." He opens the door on the passenger side to let her in. And without wasting another moment, she complies. He finds it a little amusing. The way her conduct changed the moment she saw him. It was like she went into 'attention!' mode. And to be honest, he kind of likes it. Because it tells him she still remembers how she did him wrong.

"I- I was walking to the bus stop."

"And now you're not," he keeps his eyes on the road, "Seat belt."

"Oh. Right. Seat belt."

She pulls the shoulder belt over her body and then fumbles with the locking clip. Seeing from the corner of his eye, Sasuke reaches out to help her. Almost making her jump out of the seat.

"Th- thank you."

"Hn."

He refuses to look her way. Instead, he thinks of the vast array of feelings he has had to experience because of this one woman. This pink haired, green eyed, innocent looking, petite woman. Within a fraction of a second, he can list love, haterade, disgust, anger, betrayal, pain. And he's well aware that if he sticks around, he's going to find some more in no time. It's a little too much for him to handle. And it gets way too complicated with so many emotions tangled together. Even now, as she sits right here, right next to him in his car, he can't quite figure out what his most predominant feelings for her are. In the end, he feels exhausted and just gives up.

_It's no use anyway._

"You're going to work, right?" he asks.

"Y- yes."

"Stop stuttering."

All of a sudden, he feels very irritated. It almost feels like he's a kidnapper, running away abducting a child.

_I'm not even the bad guy here._

"If you're going to act like this, then maybe you shouldn't have run away in the first place."

She looks his way. Visibly taken aback.

"You're… talking about me running away?..." she blinks like she's really, utterly confused. "From our wedding?"

"What? I'm not allowed to?" he scowls but doesn't move his eyes from the road.

"That's… not it... You... didn't say anything back then…" her words turn into a mumble and she sinks into the seat. Looking down at her hands on her lap.

He figures she's talking about the time he met her at the café a few months back. And suddenly, he can't come up with anything. So, he decides to just ignore her and drive.

"I'm... sorry."

"Shut up." His reaction is immediate. Much to his own surprise. And also to her surprise. Sakura's big translucent green eyes go round as she looks at him in shock.

"Stop saying the same thing like a broken record. How many times do you think you've said _'I'm sorry'_ to me?' It's fucking irritating."

He doesn't miss the way she flinches a little at his choice of words.

"Because that's all you ever say. _'I'm sorry'_. That's it. Back when you asked to meet me, I was expecting... some sort of an explanation maybe? But NO. Nothing. You never gave me one."

She keeps silent for a while. Her fingers playing with the cherry blossom acrylic keychain hanging from the zip of her bag.

"You didn't ask me though."

"Oh? So I don't deserve an explanation unless I ask for one?" Sasuke scowls at her.

"You take every single thing I say in a negative sense," Sakura chuckles.

And just as he's about to open his mouth to remind her _why_ , she speaks again, "But for very good reason, I understand."

She looks at him and smiles. A soft and sad smile.

"I wanted to tell you, I really did. But I… didn't want to look like I was making excuses. I didn't want to make it look like it was something I did out of compulsion. Like... that was the only choice I had. No. What I did, it was a choice I made. A very fucked up choice indeed, but still, it was a conscious choice I made on my own. No-one held me at gunpoint and made me do it."

She takes a deep breath and exhales loudly, staring out the window.

"I know, I know damn well what I did to you was wrong. And even though I don't expect you to believe me, hurting you was really not my intention. I just got a little too caught up in my own problems and couldn't think it all through. I couldn't take everything into consideration. How my actions were going to affect you. I mean, I did know of course, that it was a terrible thing to do. To anyone. But it wasn't until I saw you there at the café that I realised _how_ terrible."

She tucks a strand of loose pink hair behind her ear.

"You see, when I moved here, everything changed. It was a new place, new lifestyle, new people. It helped me leave everything behind and move on. I had made too big a mess and didn't really have the courage to look at it. Everything was already ruined and over. So, I decided to just go on with my life and do better in the future. But when I saw you and heard you speak, the way you sounded so bitter, I realised it wasn't over. Not really. Because you were still..."

"Hurting?"

"If you're okay with that word, then yes. You were still hurting. You were still affected by it."

She waits for him to make a comment if he wants. But he doesn't.

"Anyway, what I want to say is I _did_ want to tell you everything because it was painful for me to know how much you resented me. I... didn't want to be hated by you. But it was actually better, don't you think?" she looks at him, smiling, "The fact that you didn't even give me a chance to defend myself, you just went: this bitch messed with me and I'm done with her. End of story. This is what they call poetic justice. This is what I deserved."

"I'm not fond of that particular word but the rest, yeah that was pretty much the intention." Sasuke drives past the bus stop.

"Wai-" Sakura protests, or at least she tries to but Sasuke doesn't even slow down.

"I'll drop you. I need to talk to you."

Sakura looks at him, her mouth opens as if to say 'oh'. Then asks, "Would you mind if I, can I eat in your car? I was going to eat in the bus."

"Do you want to buy something to eat?" Sasuke's eyes immediately start searching for a place to grab some food.

"No. I have a sandwich in my bag. I bought it from the cafeteria."

"Ah," with his hands on the steering wheel, he makes a smooth turn, "Go ahead. I don't mind."

"Thank you," she smiles, "I don't have the time to sit down and eat. So I always eat in the bus on my way to work."

Sakura brings out the sandwich from her bag and unwraps it.

"Do you... want a bite?"

"Nah. I'm fine."

"Hmm," with a nod, Sakura bites into the sandwich and eats in silence, looking outside at the busy road of the late afternoon. Sasuke keeps driving. For a while, neither of them speaks a word. Then, Sakura starts coughing, breaking the lingering silnece. And almost instinctively, Sasuke reaches out for his bottle of water. But then he sees her take out a red bottle from her bag and stops.

"Damn! This is the problem with their sandwich. It's too dry." Sakura wipes her mouth with the back of her palm as she puts the cap back on the bottle.

"The thing is... Even without asking you, I'm sure I've figured it out." Sasuke looks into the rearview mirror just to have something to do.

She blinks.

"Really?"

Sasuke sighs.

"Yeah, kind of. Naruto told me you go to the University of Konoha."

Sakura doesn't say anything.

"And you recently started your third year. BA in English. Huh?"

She doesn't make any efforts to speak. Just casts her gaze outside again.

"Anyway, I know I'm two years too late, but still... Congratulations. I'm glad you passed the exam and got into university again."

She turns to him. Her face completely blank.

"Why... are you being so nice to me?"

"I wonder."

Sasuke chuckles. A little annoyed with himself.

"I should be mad. Shouldn't I? Knowing how you made a fool out of me. And to be honest, I _am_ mad. Don't get me wrong. I still don't think I deserved what you did to me. But, I don't like the idea of forcing a woman to sit at home doing chores when she has another dream. Which is exactly what I would be doing had I married you. So, I guess I'm grateful I dodged a bullet there."

When she doesn't say anything, he continues.

"Although, I don't get _why_ you felt the need to run away like that. What did you think I'll say if you told me you wanted to attend university? 'No, I want my wife to stay home and do housework and raise kids only?'" he shakes his head. "But then again, what did you tell me on the day we first met? _'I took the exam and failed. So, I realised it's really out of my league and gave up'_. You had it all planned from the very beginning. You had your lies ready before you even met me. So, I didn't really stand a chance. Did I?"

She stays silent.

"Say something."

"I don't know where to start. And... Well... You _are_ right."

Sasuke narrows his eyes. Half amused.

"Hn... Since you don't know where to start, I'll take the liberty to ask. After knowing everything you did, it's only the logical conclusion that you never... felt anything for me," he breathes in, "But I still find it somewhat confusing when I think about how you kept that ring, not only that, but you were actually wearing it in a necklace. It reminds me of the night I gave it to you and how you said you'll treasure it. And I can't stop myself from thinking that maybe... _that_ was what you were doing. Even though looking at it from a logical point of view, it's not very likely."

_This is why emotion is such a dangerous thing._

"Not very likely?"

"I don't know," he shrugs, "In fact, I've been meaning to ask you for a long time, in that one year that we were… let me say _together_ for lack of a better word, everything you did and said, how much truth was there to it? Tell me, did you ever even love me? Even a little? Or was all of it just an act? A game?"

She looks at him.

"And don't lie. Not anymore. I wanted to ask you last time but I didn't. Because I... wasn't prepared, emotionally. I wasn't ready to hear you say you were just playing with me. But time has passed since then, and I have... recovered from the initial shock of seeing you again, without a warning. And now that I'm finally asking you, it's because I'm ready to hear whatever the truth is. I also need my closure. I believe you'd agree with me on that."

She sighs.

"I hated you."

And there's a loud thump in his chest, almost throwing him off balance. It feels like his worst nightmare coming true.

_But the good thing about it is, it's already happening. I no longer need to lose my sleep imagining a hundred possible things that could be. In one way, it's very liberating._

"Wow!" Sasuke exhales audibly, "That was... very direct. But I appreciate your honesty." He chuckles.

"I hated you before I even met you, I hated you before you were even in the picture, I hated you," She looks at him, "Because _you_ were the form in which my ruin was coming. That was why I got so aggressive that day when you said you were too busy with work to even have a hobby. Because in my mind, you were a cocky arrogant jerk, who was looking down upon me and acting like he was superior just because he had a job. I felt humiliated."

She takes a pause to breathe.

"You know what my mother said when she told me she was looking for a guy? She said I had gone crazy and ruined my future and that there was no hope left for me. So, now getting married to a good man was my last chance at a decent life. You were being introduced to me as my saviour because she decided I had fucked up real time and could no longer save myself."

Sasuke watches in silence as she starts to get more agitated as she speaks.

"I DID NOT need anyone to save me. I just wanted some time but apparently that was too much to ask. Every two weeks, she'd suggest I go find a guy and get married. She'd be like _I'm so worried. I think you're making a big mistake. You already have a degree. It's okay you left that job but you can find another one. Why are you trying to go to university once again, at this age? Look at all your friends, working and moving forward. Why do you want to take a step back? Blah blah blah._ I tried to ignore it and keep doing my thing but it wasn't that easy. At least to me it wasn't. And when I really couldn't make it that year, I didn't have anything to say in return. So, when she came to me with this marriage bullshit again, I just decided to play along. I was exhausted."

He waits a while before speaking. Making sure she calms down a little.

"Did... your opinion change?"

"Huh?"

"After meeting me, did you still hold the same opinion of me?

"No." Sakura shakes her head with a gentle smile, "At first I had my guards up, telling myself that I didn't know you. That _of course_ you were going to be nice and act like a gentleman if you were trying to get me to marry you, but… it did start to change."

"You're not making this up. Are you?"

"No. Why would I? You were… becoming my friend. I didn't have any friends at that point. I had become completely isolated I had withdrawn myself from the world. But after meeting you, I started to feel like I finally had someone I could open up to. I loved seeing you and hanging out with you. Talking to you about the most unimportant things. I looked forward to our dates, I used to be excited. It was fun. It was the most fun I ever had," She sighs. "So many times, so many times I wished I had met you under different circumstances. Because then I'd be able to trust you better. I wouldn't have to continuously try to interpret your nice behaviour."

"What's there to interpret?"

"No-one can be nice all the time. It's simply not possible. The side of you I'm getting to see right now, the way you're pissed at me and are looking for a confrontation sort of thing, this I never saw before."

"I believe I have a very valid reason to be pissed at you."

"Of course you do."

"Are you trying to be sarcastic because in case you are, I'm totally not getting the joke."

"No. No. I, how do I explain this? Umm…" she places her fingers on her chin, "What I'm trying to say is, getting mad and being upset is normal. Very normal. It happens to everyone. It's not possible to get along with someone all the time. At some point, you're going to clash and you're going to get mad. And how you handle it, how you treat someone even when you're very mad at them, that's very important because you see, in general people treat you nicely as long as you're doing what they want you to do. It's when you don't, when you start going against their will, _that_ is when you get to see their true colours. I only knew you for a short while."

"Hnn."

"But seeing you like this, the way you're treating me right now, even after what I did, I'm starting to believe you when you say I could have told you back then."

"Yes but unfortunately you already let me go. Your loss." Sasuke shrugs dramatically.

Sakura laughs out loud. "Guess that's what life is like. You can't have everything. At least I got to get back my dignity. I'm living in the city on my own, attending uni. I work and I also have savings from the time I was working before. But it's not exactly easy. My parents have offered to help me. They feel kind of guilty. I get that, but I refused. Because I want to, I _need to_ do this myself. Of course I have a point to prove to everyone who was laughing at me back then or calling me names but more than anything, I have a point to prove to myself. Because after a certain point, I started to believe them. Because when literally everyone is telling you you're wrong, there's literally no-one, not one person to take your side, that's not very easy."

Sasuke doesn't speak for a while.

"The way you talk about it now is very different from how you talked about it back then. I never felt it was such a big deal. You kind of made it sound like a big joke."

"I didn't know what else to do. That was my way of coping. I realised I couldn't make people shut up. To be honest, I even felt like they loved it, seeing me like that. Because it was... entertaining I guess. So, I told myself to laugh it off. Because taking their words to heart had ended in me being severely depressed and once you fall into depression, its normal direction is towards the worse. If you want things to get better, that's one hell of a fight. And that was exactly what I was doing when I met you. I was desperately trying to get out of that hellhole. And now that I've really done it, I'm really proud of myself."

Sasuke tries to say something, but she beats him to it.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not proud of what I made you go through. I wish I truly wish I had done it in a different, better way. Without hurting you. I know it was very wrong and I don't have any excuses to offer you. I just want you to know that I had planned to run away. From the moment my mother talked about this marriage. As a lesson to her and everyone who ridiculed me. Including this guy who felt he could buy me with his money. I was going to run away regardless of the entrance exam. If I managed to get into uni, fine, if not, I was just going to move to Konoha City and get a job. Better be poor and independent than be with a man who can control me with his money. But after I met you, you… weren't what I expected."

"That's a relief. Assuming you mean I was _better_ than what you were expecting."

"Yes," she giggles. "That's exactly what I mean. And as we started to get closer, friendlier, it started to bother me. I considered telling you the truth, and at that point, I wasn't even faking it, I had really, sincerely started to love you."

The moment he hears those words, Sasuke feels like he can finally take a sigh of relief. Like an old wound that had been hurting him for ages, just got healed. And he can't help the smile from appearing on his lips even though the woman beside him misses it.

"I wanted to confess everything to you, but I feared you'll hate me for lying all that time or you'll act like everyone else. And then everyone will know and my exam will be ruined. That's why I kept silent. But then you gave me that ring, that was when I reached my limit."

"I remember you were acting strange that night. Although back then I thought maybe it was how women in general react to a proposal."

"Well, I mean yeah, we tend to cry but in general it's because we're emotional but for me, it was... a mess. You asked me, sincerely and nicely if I wanted to marry you. You told me you wanted to spend your life with me and I should have been happy because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you too. Instead, it made me feel so guilty, so terrible, because I had been lying to you. You trusted me and I... That night I couldn't sleep. I cried and cried until my head started to ache. Then in the end I made up my mind. To just marry you and forget about it all. Because I was afraid. To tell to you. I didn't want you to think of me as a cunning and contriving person, I didn't want you to hate me. I didn't have the courage to admit it all and I figured I won't have to if I just got married. Because I was literally the only one who knew. So, I decided to do that. Forget about everything and just get married."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, I'm glad you ran away. I mean of course the best solution would have been for you to just tell me everything but since that didn't happen, this is way better than what _could have_ happened."

"I had decided to forget about it all. I didn't check the results when it came out although I was dying to. I told myself it didn't matter to me anymore. That I had already chosen a different path. But the day before the wedding, just on a whim, I decided to check it. The way I saw it, I had studied a lot more the previous year and I still didn't pass. So, I assumed I won't pass anyway and checking the result and seeing I didn't make it will be sort of a closure. But then I saw my name on that list and I was dumbfounded. I refreshed the page three times to make sure I wasn't seeing it wrong. I had really made it. I couldn't believe my eyes. It took me like ten minutes to actually wrap my head around it. And you know what I wanted to do once I realised I had really made it?"

"What?"

"I wanted to call you and tell you. It was my dream come true moment and I was so happy and you were the one I wanted to share the news with."

"..."

"But then, I got puzzled. There was only one day left for the admission and my wedding was on that very date. And we were set to leave on our honeymoon right after the wedding. No-one, literally no-one even knew I had taken the exam, everyone was excited for the wedding, all the preparations were complete, so much money had been spent. I got so confused. I did something stupid, I understand that but the thing is, I wasn't thinking straight. I couldn't. You see, I saw a crisis in front of me. And in a hurry, came up with a way to escape that. I didn't really think about the fact that I was getting myself into an even bigger mess by doing that."

Sasuke stops the car in front of the café.

"Ah," Sakura looks outside, "Thank you for the ride. I… Like you said, all I've ever said is I'm sorry and I am. I really am very sorry. I do believe I was right to think about myself and my future and my dreams… I believe I had every right to do that and I don't regret having chosen this life but I regret having hurt you… I feel guilty every time I think of you... I-"

"Frankly, that's a relief."

"Huh?"

"I had never had a girlfriend before. I don't know shit about relationships. And at times I wondered if that was the reason. Maybe I did something wrong, or maybe anyone else would have been able to see you were bluffing. But since I lacked experience, I was fooled so easily. I came up with many possible scenarios. I was mad at you. Immediately after you ran away, I just wanted to find someone real hot and get married to get back at you."

Sakura watches him in surprise.

"But… That wouldn't have been very wise. I was somewhat shaken. It was my first time being in a relationship sort of thing and it ended that way. Getting into another relationship was intimidating. Besides, you had already left, chances were you were never even going to know I married someone else. And even if you did, you probably wouldn't care. Besides, marrying someone just because they're hot is actually a pretty stupid idea when you think about it rationally and are not fueled by your desire for revenge. My mother always says it's foolish to make a decision when you're very angry or very happy."

He sighs and then looks her in the eye.

"At least now I know I wasn't at fault."

"You weren't. Not the slightest. I messed up. I was the one. If anything, you almost made me give up everything and just get married and get settled."

"Hn. Thanks. That helps."

"I… You know what?" as if suddenly remembering, Sakura opens the zip of her bag and reaches inside. After rummaging for a while she pulls out a notebook. A pink notebook with cherry blossoms on the cover. She holds it in front of him.

"..."

"It's a notebook."

"I… can see that."

"It's where I wrote about it."

"About what?"

"All of it. The entire incident. It was bothering me. Since I saw you at the café and realised how deeply I had hurt you. So… The owner of the bookstore I work at, she was the one who gave me the idea. To write it down. As a way of letting go. It's very much of a confession to myself sort of thing. It's not me making excuses or stuff. Just what I felt and all. I never meant for anyone else to read it. She suggested I burn it after I'm done writing but this notebook is so pretty and I'm not completely ready to get rid of it yet. But I really, really don't want anyone to read it. That's why I've always been carrying it around wherever I go. So that if by any chance I die, it goes with me."

"Die?"

"Yeah. Like an accident or something."

"Say you die in a car crash. How does the notebook die with you?"

"Ummm…" she thinks for a while, "Let's say it doesn't."

"Let's say?" Sasuke raises an eyebrow.

"Ah! Fine. I said something stupid. Do you want it or not?"

"Of course I do. I want to read your journal."

"It's not really a journal though."

Sasuke just shrugs.

"Cherry blossoms, huh? Too cliche. Don't you think?"

"My employer gave it to me. And I love it. Anyway," she picks up her bag, "I'll be late. Once again, thank you. And… do you want to come in for a cup of coffee? My treat."

"Nah. Maybe next time." He takes his phone out of the pocket and shoves it into her hand.

"Huh?"

"Your number. Put it in here."

"I… Yes," she nods and starts typing. "Actually… Don't get mad… I still have your number."

"Hn?"

"I kept it."

"Why? Were you going to call me someday?" there's a hint of teasing in his voice.

"No," she chuckles, "Even I don't know. I just… kept it."

For a few moments, Sasuke just watches her in silence.

"Are you still in love with me?"

"Eh? Wh-what? What are you asking? All of a sudden." In the semi-darkness, Sasuke misses the hint of red on her cheeks.

"I asked a pretty straight forward question that could be answered with a yes or a no."

"I… It's not that… It's not that simple."

"It's not?" he waits for a few seconds before continuing, "Okay then, I'll give you some time to think."

"Huh?"

"I'll call you once I finish reading this," he holds up the notebook. "And we're going to meet again, Sakura Haruno. This isn't over."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So disappointing, I know. But I'm stubborn and I'll keep things the way I had originally planned them.  
> The virus is here in my city too and the way these Gen Z brats are acting, we're all going to get it soon. Meanwhile, take care, wash your hands and eat healthy to boost your immunity.  
> Love,
> 
> June ❤️  
> [21.03.2020]


End file.
